Did You Hear About the Morgans?

2009 PG-13

Did You Hear About the Morgans? poster

It’s not just geographical - there’s a definite “flyover country” in film as well. There are the coasts - the only place worth spending any time, to anyone with any smarts, certain denizens believe: Your “Un Chien Andalou,” or “The Bicycle Thief.” Films to be discussed over charcuterie platters and a robust thimble of obscure Italian digestif.

“Did You Hear About the Morgans?” comes straight out of the depths of cinematic flyover country, that school of design that poses two attractive, made-up white people on opposite sides of the movie poster, smirking and winking cutely at each other. Frequently, the woman’s arms will be folded to indicate her superiority, that she’s about to open a can of improvement on the bonehead in her personal space. The Morgans’ (Hugh Grant and Sarah Jessica Parker, one of whom you’re statistically likely to loathe - in my case, it’s her) love is being tested, but rest assured - they’ll come out better on the other side.

In this case, the Morgans’ marriage was already suffering from infidelity (his) and infertility (hers) when the pair is thrust together in witness protection, in tiny Ray, Wyoming, after they stumble on a murder. (The low point of the movie is here, when Parker whines to a U.S. Marshal, “I can’t commit to spending the rest of my life with my husband,” and she returns with, “I know how you feel.” When did we invite these “you go, girl” moments back out of the 90s? As if.)

In Wyoming, things pick up - both for the Morgans, who are living, “Wife Swap” reality style in the home of the Wheelers, Sam Elliott and Mary Steenburgen (The Stranger and Clara Clayton? Perfect.) Their new home is high in sodium, mounted deer heads, stars in the night sky, and wisdom that seems unforced and surprisingly tender:

“You should expect everything from each other!” Mr. Wheeler sputters at one point. “Marriage doesn’t make any sense! You gotta stop thinking about it and just get over all the bull**** and make it work.”

Parker initially flips out at the thought of life without the Internet or cable, leaping and stomping in her stocking feet. By the end of the movie, she’s curling up with a John Wayne movie every night, guilty pleasure written in the sudden lack of lines on her face. Mr. Morgan invites his wife to a reconciliation date at the town’s one diner.

“Luckily, I called ahead and got a table near the mayonnaise,” he says. She responds: “You must know someone.” Instead of playing it snarky and safe, Grant and Parker are sweet. They’re surprised they’re enjoying being around each other - and equally shocked they’re getting something out of big sky country.

Likewise, viewers who want to come off as having fine taste would never admit they enjoyed a film written and directed by Marc Lawrence (of “Family Ties” and the “Miss Congeniality” franchise). They want to pretend their guiltiest pleasure is the New York Times crossword puzzle in ink after a 5K with their time and speed automatically posted to Facebook via iPhone. And the genre in which “Did You Hear About the Morgans?” belongs is an easy one to hate. It’s tired. It’s predictable. Overall, it aims low. One usually wants to see the couple torn limb from limb by bears at the end of the run-time. That makes the painlessness of “Morgans,” the fact that it’s not wretched, all the more impressive. This is not Fine Film. This is the movie equivalent of frozen biscuits and canned gravy at a red and white tablecloth in some decimated downtown diner where the patrons still smoke. This is the movie equivalent of Ray, Wyoming. What’s surprising to the audience, as it is to the Morgans, is that there’s some entertainment to be found in the land of $9.99 sweaters and Democrat-haters who leave their keys in their trucks. In the end, you’re glad to be back where the Chinese food is sold by the pound 24 hours a day at the corner bodega - but you’re glad you can say you tried the Koolaid-sweetened red pickles. Even if you’d never admit it to a soul.

Ashley O’Dell reviews movies that aren’t in theaters anymore.