In “Twilight,” Kristen Stewart shows she can cross over into big budget, serial, A-list territory. Too bad “Twilight,” while not totally unbearable to experience, is mostly unbearable to think about. Even with a worsening, life-threatening condition in “The Cake Eaters,” Stewart is infinitely more lifeless as Bella in “Twilight.”

Granted, most of the future consumers of dog-eared romance novels that make up the “Twilight” series’s audience only came to see one thing — Stewart’s Bella making out with Robert Pattinson’s Edward, a tween heartthrob (already established as such from the Harry Potter movies) whose looks could have just as easily carried him throughout a lifetime modeling Tag Heuer watches and Emporio Armani cologne. So is it really necessary for the two of them to look at each other like they just threw up in their mouths and talk in the plaintive whine of victims in personal injury lawyer TV ads for two hours?

You’ve doubtless seen the book “Twilight,” a black doorstop with a girl’s pale hands holding an apple on the cover. There are no apples or poignant scenes of dusk in the movie, the first in a series about a mortal girl who falls in love with a vampire boy — but you can pretty well sum up the series as “girl offers boy her ‘red delicious.’” It’s PG porn for the promise ring set — the new girl is instantly popular and everyone loves her and wants to buy her burritos and even though there are bad vampires, the good — and cutest — one wants to protect her. There’s even a Jar-Jar-annoying Asian kid in glasses who wants to write a feature article about her for the school newspaper!

But “Twilight“‘s audience eats up blogs that painstakingly recreate every outfit of the movie — down to Stewart’s chunky St. Jude bracelet. He, it should be noted, is the patron saint of lost causes. And just as it’s a lost cause to expect Bella to resist a tousled-haired, sexually stoic Edward, it’s just as pointless to expect any of the target demographic for “Twilight” to resist the movie itself — or its dubious wish-fulfillment pablum.